Bear Down Bear North Read online

  BEAR DOWN BEAR NORTH

  BEAR DOWN BEAR NORTH

  Alaska Stories

  Melinda Moustakis

  © 2011 by Melinda Moustakis

  Athens, Georgia 30602

  www.ugapress.org

  All rights reserved

  Designed by Mindy Basinger Hill

  Set in 12/15 pt Vendetta Medium

  Printed and bound by Thomson-Shore

  The paper in this book meets the guidelines for

  permanence and durability of the Committee on

  Production Guidelines for Book Longevity of the

  Council on Library Resources.

  Printed in the United States of America

  11 12 13 14 15 C 5 4 3 2 1

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Moustakis, Melinda, 1982–

  Bear down, bear north : Alaska stories / by Melinda Moustakis.

  p. cm.—(The Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction)

  ISBN-13: 978-0-8203-3893-4 (hardcover : alk. paper)

  ISBN-10: 0-8203-3893-1 (hardcover : alk. paper)

  1. Wilderness areas—Alaska—Fiction.

  2. Frontier and pioneer life—Alaska—Fiction.

  3. Families—Fiction. 4. Survival—Fiction. 5. Short stories.

  6. Alaska—Fiction. I. Title.

  PS3613.O88B43 2011

  813'.6—dc22 2011010451

  British Library Cataloging-in-Publication Data available

  ISBN for this digital edition: 978-0-8203-4189-7

  For my mother and father,

  Constance and Michael, for their

  love and support and guidance.

  For Sonny, my uncle who takes

  me fishing and tells me stories.

  For Mike, Melaina,

  Sam, and Kamal.

  For my uncle Sam and

  aunt Kamal, and my cousins,

  Sophia and Olivia.

  CONTENTS

  Acknowledgments

  Trigger

  The Mannequin in Soldotna

  The Weight of You

  Us Kids

  This One Isn’t Going to Be Afraid

  Point MacKenzie

  Miners and Trappers

  Bite

  Some Other Animal

  Mr. Fur Face Needs a Girlfriend

  They Find the Drowned

  What You Can Endure

  The Last Great Alaskan Lumberjack Show

  Resources

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I would like to thank all the literary journals that published previous versions of the following stories: “Trigger” was originally published as “MooseBlind” in Kenyon Review Online 3, no. 3 (Summer 2010); “The Mannequin in Soldotna” appeared in Conjunctions 54: Shadow Selves; “The Weight of You” in Cimarron Review, no. 166 (Winter 2009); “Us Kids” in Alaska Quarterly Review 26, nos. 1 and 2 (Spring and Summer 2009); “This One Isn’t Going to Be Afraid” in The Massachusetts Review (Winter 2009); “Point MacKenzie” in The Tusculum Review 6 (2010); “Miners and Trappers” in Kenyon Review 33, no. 4 (Fall 2011); “Bite” in Storyglossia, no. 39; “Some Other Animal” in American Short Fiction; “Mr. Fur Face Needs a Girlfriend” in Alaska Quarterly Review 29, nos. 1 and 2 (Spring and Summer 2011); “They Find the Drowned” in Hobart (no. 12); “What You Can Endure” in New England Review 32, no. 1; “The Last Great Alaskan Lumberjack Show” in Beloit Fiction Journal 24 (Spring 2011).

  I would like to thank my parents for their support and senses of humor and for everything they have done for me over the years. And my Uncle Sonny for his generosity and his big bear of a heart, for sharing his stories and fishing expertise and for allowing me to summer on the river. An immense thank you to Nancy Zafris and University of Georgia Press for giving this book a chance.

  I would like to thank all of my teachers over the years, but especially Jaimy Gordon, Stuart Dybek, Kellie Wells, and my literature professors at Western Michigan University; Pam Houston, Lucy Corin, and Lynn Freed, who I worked with while at UC Davis; Susann Cokal, Kevin Clark, Paula Huston, John Hampsey, and Larry Inchausti at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo; and Mr. Seward and Mr. Pipkin.

  I would like to thank The WMU Crowd: especially Beth Marzoni, who spent hours helping me revise this book; Rachel Swearingen, who helped me survive the last four years; Emily Stinson, who came to Kalamazoo just in time; Adeena Reitberger; Jessi Phillips; Cindy St. John; Maggie Andersen; Mark Turcotte; Kathy Zlabek, who came up with the title of this book; Hilary Selznick; Kory Shrum; Meghann Meeusen; Kate Dernocoeur; Adam and Kim Clay; James Miranda and Lauren Goldberg; R.A. Riekki, Michele Coash, Michael Fischer; Soup Night; the Tuesday Pilsen Club; and the Thursday Poker Night Players.

  The Graduate College at wm u for awarding me a Graduate Student Research Grant.

  Novelist John Lescroart and the uc Davis English Department for the Maurice Prize in Fiction contest, which this book won in 2010.

  The Davis Crew: especially the wonderful readers of the Fiction Class of 2006.

  The River Crew: especially John aka “Mots” and Carol Motsinger, Marnie and Greg Olcott and the Fam, Dan and Sean and Sam Mc-Dowell, Brad Snodgrass, Rachel and Benji Smith, Frank’s drift boat and all the Reuters, Tasha and Brooks Queen, Joe from Hell, Dean Vogt, Todd Arndt, Frank Komarek, Todd Larson, and Pam Butcher, who helped make a beautiful book out of my work before it was ever published.

  Friends I’ve known for many years: Leah and Jared Davis, Kate Asche and Charlie McComish, Nikki Hootman, and Jennifer Ortega-Briggs.

  Also, a thank you to my Uncle James and Aunt Kitty (not to be confused with Kitty in the book), who take me fishing for halibut and ling cod.

  “Oh, to grace how great a debtor …”

  BEAR DOWN BEAR NORTH

  TRIGGER

  You were conceived on a hunting stand, they say.

  Which means: We had no other place.

  The homestead is full of my mother’s siblings. On the stove, a pot of potato chow big enough to feed twenty. See my mother, back roughed against the wooden platform in the trees. See my father, finger on the trigger—in case.

  You have to gut a moose right away, they say, or the meat rots in its skin.

  Which means: We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

  The night of my making, my father shot a moose through the eye, through the skull and brain and bone, through to the other side. My mother found the red-tipped bullet in the summered dirt. They keep it on the mantle next to a sepia photo—them steering the rack of the dead bull.

  They say, you came into the world with a bang.

  Which means: Do something to deserve us.

  THE MANNEQUIN

  IN SOLDOTNA

  THE MANNEQUIN

  She stands in the lobby of the hospital, naked. Lures and spinners and spoons and flesh flies and fish hooks cover her body. There are metallic wings and blades, mirrored and speckled jangles, feathers, fur, hair, painted beads in bright gloried purples and reds and yellows all to catch a rainbow, a dolly, a red, a king in the Kenai River.

  Someone comes in with a hook in a nose or lip or neck or hand. The doctor shakes her head. The hook digs deep and pulls, the barb snagging muscle, and she pushes it through. The patient sighs with relief as the bloodied hook clangs in the metal tray. Blood seeps through cotton and the doctor replaces the gauze. Sometimes there are stitches. Today only tape.

  After the patient leaves, the doctor holds the hook under the tap. She dips it in disinfectant. On the way, she passes the nurses’ station and says, “I’ve got another one.”

  The nurses follow in their white, padded shoes.

  “Guess,” she says.

  The nurses point to spots of open flesh on the mannequin. There.
No, there.

  The doctor touches the arch of the mannequin’s foot. “Here,” she says.

  There are few spots left.

  “Will they ever learn?” she says.

  RIVER AND ISLAND

  What is the sound of a river? The sound of line breaking the surface? The Kenai is a thick vein of brown and runoff from the thaw flows from the mountains, from Wally’s Creek and the lower Killey, and wraps around the island where the doctor has a cabin. The Kenai is a rope, choking off a piece of land with a slow, snaking hold.

  RUN

  The salmon swim from river into ocean. They fatten up on shrimp and squid, growing until they are two of themselves. Thousands of miles after, the salmon ache for the milky blue waters of the Kenai. Their bodies quiver, and with one sudden pulse of blood, they turn degrees of north, they turn toward home.

  HOOK

  Two buddies go for rainbows at The Kitchen, where Skilak Lake meets the Kenai River. The morning is early and condensation covers the boat, the tackle box, the seats. They haven’t been fishing in a while because one had a bad fall, a bad break in the leg. There’s a metal pin in the bone. They drink coffee with Jack-Slack.

  The one with the bad leg hooks a bow. The other reels in and secures his hook so he can net.

  The bow is a fighter. He flips and jumps and makes a scene. The one strains and puts most of his weight on his good leg. “He’s right there,” says the one.

  But the other misses with the net.

  “You going blind?” says the one.

  “At least I have two good legs,” says the other.

  “Just bag him this time.”

  The other stands poised, net in hand. The bow twists under the water and spits the hook. The line jerks free. The one wobbles and puts a hand on the seat to steady himself. He throws down his rod.

  “I’ll get the next one,” says the other.

  The one huffs and punches a fist into the seat. “Sure,” he says. He bends down to pick up the rod, but he bends wrong. He slips a little on the deck and falls, his head hitting the other rod sitting in the holder. The other helps him up. There’s blood and he’s attached to the rod—the top of his ear has caught the hook.

  “Pierced straight through,” say the other. He cuts the line and goes to cut the barb off the hook.

  “Leave it,” says the one. “I want a story about me catching a bow with a hook in my ear.”

  The mannequin is mapped with flesh flies, rabbit fur, and yarn and thread. The doctor jabs the hook into the left side of the head where an ear would be. The man had the hook in the right ear, but that side is full.

  RIVER AND ISLAND

  What is the sound of a river? Glaciers melting? The echo of air and light? The Kenai is a dull shade of dust. The edges of stillwater clear—the edges reflect small winks of sun. No one knows where the river ends and the island begins.

  RUN

  The stars, the sun, and the moon make coordinates of refracted light. These and the smell of gravel guide them to the Kenai’s mouth. Their skin glimmers like knives and their meat turns red. After a heavy rain, the water rises and they charge the river. They grow hooked snouts and wolves’ teeth.

  TWO PATCHES

  A man and his son are in a bad way. They drift down the Kenai on a raft. Neither wishes to talk. The man brought his son hoping they could find the words. They find neither words nor fish. There are two patches on the raft—dark blue rubber cut into squares. The glue surrounding the squares makes a glossy splotch against the faded sides.

  The man steers around a gravel spit. His son prepares to reel in, but the line bobs. He sets the hook and the line pays out. “I got one,” he says. And the bow is a beauty—a twenty-two-inch female with a rounded head and nickel-silver shine. The son releases her.

  “We’re allowed one for dinner,” says the man.

  “Too pretty,” says his son. He aims the line to cast. The man walks behind him to put up the net. The hook sails through the air and the man feels a sharp pain in his eye. He covers the eye with his hand.

  “Don’t touch it,” says the son.

  The hook prevents the man’s eyes from closing when he blinks, and when he blinks the pain spikes. His thumb and forefinger pry his eyelid open.

  “Drive,” says the man.

  The son beaches the raft on the bank. He runs up to the cabin door and knocks, looks in the window. Empty. But the next cabin has an answer.

  The man stands on the bank. Liquid blurs his vision and there’s a slicing pain, but the pain feels good.

  The doctor removes the hook from the eye. She doesn’t flinch. But standing in front of the mannequin this time, she pauses at the colorful geography—spin ’n’ glows, watermelons, wooly buggers. “I’m sorry,” she says, and she stabs the mannequin’s eye.

  RIVER AND ISLAND

  What is the sound of a river? Edges dissolving? Vanishing stones? The Kenai is a shade of dust. Underneath the skirts of the island, the river’s tides pull through, sweeping, branches and sticks and muck swirl in the boils. Webs of decomposed humpy flesh float down in delicate globs.

  RUN

  They fight the river, the rocks, bears, hook and line. The salmon do not eat and their stomachs close. Their skin deepens with red, and green hoods their heads.

  CLEAN

  Two brothers stand on the old dock. One shows the other how to filet the salmon so that they don’t lose meat. The knife is new.

  The older steps back and hands the knife to the younger. The younger has the knife perched over the salmon. A rotted plank breaks beneath them.

  The younger falls first and the knife gashes the forearm of the older. They stand on the rocks and the splintered wood surrounds their waists. Blood from the gash drips onto the dock.

  The father drives them to the hospital for stitches.

  The doctor says, “Lucky. A clean cut. No veins or tendons.”

  The older doesn’t blame the younger. The younger blames the wood, the rotting, the dock—but not the knife.

  The doctor passes by the mannequin—there weren’t any hookings that day. And if there were, where would she put the hook? She is running out of space and soon she’ll have to start a new mannequin.

  RIVER AND ISLAND

  The island’s reflection is stretched over the river’s surface, wavering on water. Are you coming or going, river? The Kenai, milk tinged with ribbons of green and brown, is raging, is at rest.

  RUN

  And the river is loaded—a frenzy of salmon full of eggs and milt and muscle. Coming or going?

  LIP

  One night a guide heads to the bar after a day on the river and meets a girl. She’s a waitress at Suzie’s, saving up for college and a ticket out of Alaska. She’s been given a scholarship for jumping hurdles. He just got out of the navy, was stationed in Texas, but he says Hawaii. She’s always wanted to go to Hawaii. He picks her up at Bing’s Landing on a Wednesday, so he can tell her more about the islands and the clear, dazzling water he’s only seen in magazines.

  She brings food from the diner, chicken and fries and biscuits. He brings an appetite.

  They catch two dollies. He keeps one.

  “I thought we were letting them go,” she says.

  “Allowed one a day,” he says.

  The sun burns the top of her shoulders. He wonders if she’ll peel, have lighter patches underneath. They stop to eat at a secluded bank.

  “Smile,” he says.

  She clenches her jaw, but her mouth quivers.

  “You can smile, can’t you?”

  To spite her—her lips obey.

  He smiles back. “Hawaii is beautiful,” he says. “You should come with me.”

  “What island do you live on?” she asks.

  He moves closer, circles a fingertip on her pink shoulder. “Does this hurt?”

  She shrugs him off. “Let’s catch some more fish.”

  He grabs her arm. “Let’s stay here.”

  She could run. Scream.
Pick up a rock. An old hook on the ground. She smiles at him again and sits down, places her left hand over the hook. She kisses his mouth and readies the weapon in her left hand. She traces his lips with her fingertip, reaches inside toward his teeth and exposes the red-jeweled flesh of his bottom lip. She stares straight into his eyes. Then she shoves the hook down through, piercing him. He crumples with the pain and she leaves him on the bank and drives away. He’ll have a scar and never forget. She’ll never leave home without a hook in her pocket.

  The boy arrives alone. His story is vague. His friend hooked him while casting. The doctor notices how his eyes dart up and down her body—she isn’t as gentle as she should be when removing the hook from his lip. The point of entry is intimate and the hook is old—it uncovers his lie.

  “An accident?” she says.

  “I told you,” he says.

  “Tell your friend to buy some new hooks,” she says.

  The doctor smiles as she traces the exact spot with her finger and jams the hook into the mannequin’s flesh, in the space below lip, above chin.

  RIVER AND ISLAND

  What is the sound of a river? Babble? Chatter? The Kenai is a green of silt, jade and pearl and debris. The island is sinking, caving in.

  RUN

  They hurdle rapids and boulders, day after day. They turn a bend and the currents slow. This. Here. Their first tang of river. The gravel where they were born. The female shudders, flexes her back, and the eggs drop, loose and translucent. The male follows and fertilizes the redd.